"A woman of Canaan, now the handmaiden of the Lord"
Ephesians 5:16- Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
1972: Beirut, Lebanon.
It was the beginning of the civil war in that country and the end of many dreams and lives. I was just a teenager attending boarding school for girls with my other two sisters. Pride and tradition had always followed my family name. My family came from long lines of Imams and Shaikhs (Muslim holy scholars).
One of Muslim's goals is to be able to read the Koran with no mistakes. The reader should be absolutely clean. Being from a wealthy family (my father was a doctor and businessman), I was able to learn from private home teachers and Shaikhs, whom my father brought in to teach my sisters and me everything we needed to know about our beliefs: that Islam is the only true religion, and that there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his prophet.
Between home tutoring and then boarding school we did not have much time to get in trouble. Reading was my favorite hobby. I guess, as a Muslim girl, you really don't have much choice about anything, but my father's encouragement helped a lot. When I was eight years old, I read the Torah (the Old Testament of the Bible). I stayed up all night reading it. After three days, I ran to my father to tell him about my new discovery of the wonderful things God had done and of how great a book it was. But my excitement was shattered when my father said, "Yes, it is a very good book, but it is just a book. It is not from God. Through the years, people keep changing it. But we are Muslims and have but one book, the Koran."
I loved my father very much, and his opinion to me was absolute. But that time, I did not have peace. I knew there was truth in that Book, and that thought stayed with me for a long time, even when the war started.
The war lasted a long time. Night after night brought terror: total darkness with no electricity, the night lit up only by the flash of exploding bombs; screams in-between the explosions as friends, family, neighbors, and children died. Soon there was no food or water.
I had two sisters and one brother, then my mother had a baby. As the bombs dropped every night, my mother would scream for us to run downstairs. I remember in the twilight dark watching my mother crawling under her bed as she clutched her baby close. My father had been missing for several weeks then, and all I think was, "Why doesn't Allah help us?" There is one thing my father was right about: the God of the Bible is not the Allah of the Koran. The God of the Bible says, "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up" (Psalms 27:10). But I was not His child then, and I did not know, nor could I claim this precious promise from His word.
One morning, after a sleepless night, I watched my family walking around crying. There was nothing to eat. My mother could not even feed my five-month-old brother because her milk had dried up due to fear. One of the rich Shaikhs, whom my father had known, came by and offered to help us. With tears pouring down my face, I explained to him our desperate situation. If he could only get my baby brother to a doctor-, I begged. With an evil grin on his face, he said, "Of course, but first we have to stop by my place so you can give me something in return."
I was shocked! He was over seventy years old; I was only fourteen. I thought, "He is supposed to be a man of God. How can he ask me to do these things. He knows I would be killed by God and my family." Then I remembered the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife in the Old Testament. I ran, but at the same time the old man grabbed me and started beating me. I was too scared even to scream. All I could think of was the power God gave to Samson.
Somehow I got away. I ran to my home and went to the roof of our building and began to cry out to God. "God, I don't know where my father is. You will just have to be my Father and help me. I know what that man wanted. The war has taken everything from me. Please keep me pure and take care of me and help me take care of my family." My baby brother was fine the next day; thank God.
So every day, from that point on, I would go to the roof and talk to God. I was determined to help my family, so I started from store to store, working for whatever pay was offered. The Lord answered that part of my prayer also. By the end of three years, I was working eighteen hours a day. I was the only one in my neighborhood making money, so I was actually supporting, not only my family, but my neighbors as well. It was then that my mother decided to open up a "soup kitchen" (we called it an orphanage). I needed to find a job paying more money, but I was already overworked and very sick.
Throughout the war, I could only remember seeing people sing and dance when died as a martyr. In Islam, if a person died fighting for his country, his family, and his religion, Allah is pleased and rewards that person with a place in Paradise (Surah 52:17, 19, 20, 22; 2:1). I did not understand, but I was satisfied that they did what they did for Allah.
I knew that I did not have long to live. Most girls my age were already dead. I had lost all of my friends, so I figured that the best thing that i could do for my family was to please Allah. I would be a suicide bomber, but I did not want to kill civilians. My goal was to kill Israeli military men; if I were lucky maybe two or more. I began looking for opportunities as I was looking for more paying jobs.
One day I walked into an employment office that was seeking young, attractive girls, who could speak French, to work in an office building. I noticed a very tall Syrian officer standing behind the clerk's char eyeing me the whole time. He told the clerk to stop taking my employment information; then he led me into another room to talk to me. He asked for my passport (our method of identification) and took a long look at my picture.
Then he said, "How would you like to make one thousand lira (about $300)?" My mind started working; that would be three months food and rent for everybody. That would be great!
"What do I have to do?" I asked. He replied, "Just go out to dinner with someone we know. He works for the Jews, and we need to know where he will be so we can capture him."
I left the office feeling like a winner. I had gotten this job, and no one else had. How lucky I was!
But no, I felt trapped. What had I just agreed to do? All of these years I had tried to do the right thing. I also remembered my mother's threat: if I did wrong or brought home dirty money or bloody money, she would kill me herself. Surely this was bloody money.
But what about Paradise? What about my plans? I began thinking about what the Koran actually taught about Paradise. The Koran never made mention about women going to Paradise. In fact, Muhammad himself said that the majority of people in Hell are women (Hadith, Volume 1:28).
I thought again about my mother, and I knew how she would take the news. So my mind was made up: I would go back and tell the Syrian officer to find someone else. I would get my passport back, and then I would get out.
But it wasn't that easy. When he saw me coming back, he knew that I had changed my mind. He grew angry and grabbed me by the arm. Then he started dragging me down the stairs to a stolen Mercedes waiting outside. He pushed me in and drove to the hottest areas for bomb shelling. Then he dragged me into a deserted building, tied me to the steel foundation, and said in an angry tone, "I'm coming back in a couple of hours with my soldiers. If you do not change your mind, we will take care of you and have lots of good time with you, you Lebanese dog."
Now, one of my past jobs had been as a nurse in an emergency room. I had seen some of the dead bodies after they had been tortured. The girls were the worst; I did not want to be cut like that. I had grown up trying very hard to do right. I had to work very hard after I had lost everything. There was only one thing I left of any value: my purity. I did not intend to lose that. It was the only hope I had for any future happiness.
Alone in that deserted building, peering up at the sky through a big hole in the wall, I once more cried out to God: "God, I know You are there, and I know You can hear everything, and I know You are big and powerful. I am about to be tortured, and You know, God, that no one cares for me. You're the only one I have. I am Your daughter. Please let me die. Let my heart stop before they come for me. I know You are up there, and I know You are not Muslim or Christian. But I know that there is a God, and now, please, please, I beg You; do something!"
That was in the afternoon. Then the shelling started, and my prayer got louder and louder until I got very tired and passed out.
I was awakened by the sound of someone trying to open the door. It was now the next morning. My first thought was, "God why have you not made me die? What is going to happen to my mother when she finds out what they did to me? Are you there, God? Is there a God?
The door opened wide. A beggar, looking for something to steal, saw me all tied up. He quickly untied me, and we took off quickly running out of the building and down the street. The noise of the bombing was still all around us. I cried as I saw the dead bodies strewn on the street. But inside, I was screaming to myself: "There is a God! There is a God!"
Then, right in front of me I saw a military jeep turned upside down, burned with four dead soldiers still in it. One of them was that tall Syrian officer. They had been returning for me when they were killed! Did God do that for me?
Years later, I met the man I would marry. He was an American Christian. I told him, "That's OK; it's not your fault." I thought everyone from America was a "Christian". But I knew that if I were going to marry him, he would have to become a Muslim.
I began to questions many things about my belief in Islam: How was it that the only way you could know for certain what would happen to you after death was when you killed another person with a different belief? Why are men allowed to marry four wives while women could only have one husband? Why did our "holy" prophet marry fourteen wives, and one of them when she was only nine years old (and he an old man)? Why had my father married my mother when she was only twelve, and why did he beat her most of the time? She was beautiful and a very good wife and mother. Why was it that my young, beautiful friend could not go back to her husband after he divorced her, until she married someone else first, and then divorced him? Why was it that only then she could go back?
That last one made me sick in my spirit. I could not understand that and would not accept it, but I was a Muslim. "Islam" means "to surrender"; it does not mean "peace".
I remember, one time, asking my father why Muhammad married fourteen wives and had so many slaves for his sexual pleasure. He told me that if a man went to a woman's house, if she had no one to support her, the community would talk very bad about her. That was why Muhammad would marry her or bring her to his house. I looked at my mother, and I said, "He didn't have to go there. He could have always sent his wife or his daughter." I got in trouble that day.
In the meantime, my fiance would witness to me. "Your prophet", he would say, "did not even know when he was going to die. My Jesus knew when He was going to die, how He was going to die, who was going to kill Him, and what would happen after His death. He arose and is alive today. He did not stay dead like your prophet."
I reI wanted to kill him, but he was so handsome and kind. I said to myself, "I will give him a chance to find out how deceitful Christianity is."
I married my husband after I told him that I would be the Christian wife he wanted me to be, but he cannot say anything negative about Islam. His answer was, "I'm going to pray for your heart to find the truth;" and he did! On September 20, 1980, we were married in Berlin, Germany.
In 1984, we attended the Bible Baptist Church of Pensacola, Florida, for the very first time. The pastor's name was Dr. Peter S. Ruckman. He is a chalk artist and during the evening service, draws while he preaches. That night he preached a sermon called "Behold the Man!" The second sentence he spoke was, "What did your prophet do for you? Muhammad couldn't save a dead horse!" I thought, "Who does he think he is to talk about my prophet like that?"
I felt my husband's hand against my back, ready to grab me if I stood up and caused a scene by doing some crazy thing. But I always admired people with guts. I was tired of going to churches and having the pastor tell me (after he found out I was a Muslim), "Oh, you're such a nice person, and we do hope you are saved." But they would never tell me why I needed to get saved or how I could be saved.
So for a change I said, "Let me listen to that guy and see what he's got to say." I remember turning to my husband and saying, "No wonder he's preaching good; he's preaching out of the Koran." My husband said, "No, dear, He's preaching out of a King James Bible." I asked him, "How come I never heard of that kind of Bible?" The reason was (and is) that the King James Bible is the only Bible not allowed in the Middle East. (Chuck Colson says don't use a King James Bible to witness to Muslims. Perhaps what is why so few are won to the Lord!)
That night, for the first time in my life, I heard about a Man who did something and died for somebody without asking anything in return. I remembered the day the soldier tied me in that building, and I understood that Jesus was the one who rescued me and demanded nothing of me for it. I thought about all of those dead bodies and realized that this moment was the reason God has spared my life.
At that time, I was seven months pregnant. Is tarted thinking about the baby I was carrying and all those dead babies I had seen in Lebanon. I wanted my baby to live, and I wanted him to have Someone stronger than anybody to protect him. I knew the only way was to go forward and give him to the Savior Who had saved my life that day on the street in Beirut.
But I was also thinking of my family. Islam teaches that if you change your belief from Islam, you and all your family are going to be damned to Hell. I was afraid for my family, but somehow I knew the true God wouldn't do that. I new the living God was stronger than anything. So that night, during the invitation, I went forward and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal and only Savior.
Years later, I learned about the Syrophenician woman (Matthew 15:22-28), and how she came to Jesus asking for mercy for her daughter. I remember many nights, in Lebanon, coming home from work, at night, and hearing my mother crying to Jesus (not Allah) asking Him to save me out of the war and the fire and bring me home safe. As a saved woman I then asked Jesus Christ, "Lord, you answered her prayers. You took me out of the war and out of the literal fire, and you are going to take me home. Now, I'm your dog. Please save my mama."
That year, both my mother and my baby brother got saved. Now I am praying for the rest of my family that one day they will be with me in Glory, at home with the Lord.
Psalm 18:3- I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.
Psalm 18:2- The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.
Dear friend,
You have just read the salvation testimony of a dear Lebanese woman, who, though she was born in a Muslim country and raised in a Muslim family, came to know the only true Savior, Jesus Christ. As a lost Gentile, she followed her conscience, and God rewarded her by showing her clearly the way to eternal life (Romans 2:6-7). Like Cornelius the centurion, her prayers came "up for a memorial before God" (Acts 10:4), and also like Cornelius, God sent someone to give her the Gospel: the good news that Jesus Christ came to save sinners by His death on the cross and His resurrection from the dead (1 Timothy 1:15; 1 Corinthians 15:1-4).
If you are reading this testimony, God is now giving you the same chance for eternal life that He gave her. A person does not become a Christian by being born in a "Christian country". A person does not become a Christian by being born in a Christian family. A person does not become a Christian by attending or joining a Christian church. A person does not become a Christian by performing certain Christian rites, such as baptism or communion. A person does not even become a Christian merely by reading the Holy Scriptures, the Bible.
A Christian is a person who realizes that, because he is a sinner, he is under the wrath of Almighty God. He will one day stand before God and be judged, not on whether his good works outweigh his sins (as the pagan Egyptians taught in the Book of the Dead); but he will be judged against the absolute holiness of God. He realizes that there is nothing he can do in himself to pass the judgement (John 3:18-20, 36; Daniel 7:9-10; Revelation 20:11-15).
A christian is a person who believes that the Creator God, who made man in His own image: a body, soul, and spirit (Genesis 2:7; 1 Thessalonians 5:23), is Himself a tri-part being: a Trinity, one God with three parts- Father, Word, and Holy Spirit (1 John 5:7). A Christian is a person who believes that God, in His mercy, sent that part of Himself to earth that manifests God to man: the Word (John 1:1-3, 14, 18). In doing so, the Father prepared a body for the Word (Hebrews 10:5) and miraculously planted that body in the womb of a virgin by the power of the Holy Spirit, not by the carnal act of procreation (Isaiah 7:14 Matthew 1:20-23; Luke 1:30-35). In so doing, the Word became known as the Son of God. Anyone who reads the Bible knows that the term "son of God" is only applied to those beings who are made by supernatural creative act of God; such as angels (Job 38:4-7), Adam (Luke 3:38; Genesis 2:7), Israel (Exodus 4:22-23), and Christians (John 1:12-13). After all, God has many ways of making son s and daughters besides with a man and woman (Genesis 4:1). He can speak them into existence, like He did the angels. He can make them out of dust with no woman present, as He did with Adam. He can make them out of bone while a man is asleep, which is how He made Eve. He could even make them out of rocks, if He wanted to (Matthew 3:9). Jesus Christ is the Son of God because the Holy Spirit put His body into the womb of a virgin and He was born of a woman- with no man involved. He was God in the flesh (1 Timothy 3:16). He lived a sinless life in the flesh (Hebrews 4:15), unlike Abraham (Genesis 12), or Moses (Exodus 2), or David (2 Samuel 11-12), or Muhammad, and was chosen by God to be the Savior of mankind (Matthew 3:17; John 12:27-32). He is the Lord (God) Jesus (man) Christ (chosen).
A Christian is a person who believes Jesus did die on the cross, as He prophesied (Matthew 20:17-19), and in His death, He accomplished the only sacrifice which God would accept as a payment to take away our sins (Isaiah 53:5-11; Ephesians 2:12-17; Hebrews 10:1-22; 1 Peter 1:18-19; 1 John 1:7; John 19:30).
A Christian is a person who believes that Jesus rose from the dead bodily to give those who trust Him eternal life in Heaven (John 11:25-27; John 14:19; 1 Peter 1:20-21; Romans 4:25; Ephesians 2:1-8). The eye-witness accounts of His resurrection number into the hundreds and even resulted in the conversion of His disciples' greatest enemy (1 Corinthians 15:5-9).
A Christian is one who has placed his faith in the person fo Jesus Christ (Acts 16:31; John 6:29) and in the work of Jesus Christ (Romans 10:9-10) and has personally receive Jesus Christ as his Savior (John 1:12; Romans 10:13).
Friend, Muhammad cannot save you; he couldn't even save himself. He did nothing for you; that is, in your place. He lived his life as a slave to his own passions. He served his own flesh.
The same can be said of any religious leader, whether he be Buddha, Confucius, Gandhi, the Pope, any pastor, teacher, or evangelist. The great men of the Bible, such as Moses, David, and Paul, came the closest to breaking the cycle; but even they failed.
Jesus Christ not only lived sinless, but He did something for you. He died in your place and took God's wrath on Himself for you so He could offer you eternal life (Romans 5:8; Romans 6:23).
Friend, you can have forgiveness of sins today and have assurance of eternal life in Heaven today. All you need to do is turn from your own self-righteousness; turn from your man-made religion; turn form your self-deception; turn from these sins. That is repentance. Now turn to Jesus Christ. That is faith. Place your complete trust in Jesus Christ and what He did for you on the cross. Believe that He died for your sins; believe that He rose again and lives to take you to Heaven. Accept His sacrifice and His righteousness and His goodness as your own, as you would a free gift; for that is exactly what it is (Romans 5:15-19).
IF you would like some help to grow in your new spiritual life in the Lord Jesus Christ. Write and let us know of your decision to receive Christ, and we will be happy to send you a Bible or other materials that will help establish you in your new faith.
S.A.W Discipleship
c/o PO Box 17615
Pensacola, FL 32522
For the safety of those who are related to this person, no names have been used in this publication.
