Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Growing In Grace

If you've seen any of my last posts about my sister, you know what they're going through. But, this post is from Dave's point of view, and in his words.

Psalm 37:23-24- The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord : and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.

I was born on October 25, 1974. My parents were God-fearing, born again christians. My dad was an assistant pastor at Galilean Baptist Church, and my mom was the church secretary. I went to church three times a week.

 One Sunday morning when I was four years old, my pastor, Dr. Herbert Noe, preached a sermon on Hell. I was scared to death. That afternoon, I couldn’t sleep through my usual nap. I was so scared, that after church that Sunday night, I asked my dad how I could keep from going to hell. He took me into his office, and showed me how to be saved.

  Growing up, I was a good kid, but I wasn’t really interested in the things of God. I went to Bible School at PBI (Pensacola Bible Institute) when I was twenty-two. I met my wife, Mindi, and didn’t like her at first. God works in mysterious ways, because three years later, I ended up marrying her. She’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I am so thankful to God for her. She has been a wonderful wife and mother to our children. She is my rock. I love her so much.
  A year after we got married, along came Rebecca. She is fourteen, and has been a huge blessing. This past month especially, she has really stepped up and been a help with everything. I think she is finally growing up. 
  A year after that, along came Iris. She is thirteen, and is very helpful. She got diabetes when she was five. At the time, I was working for the fire department, so they knew who I was. That made things go a bit smoother. For the most part, aside from quite a few episodes of seizures, and a couple hospital stays, she’s been alright. God has been so good helping with her care and her health.
  Four years after that, along came surprise number three, Alyssa Claire. She is a sweetheart. She’s very helpful and kind most of the time. Sometimes, she tries to be so helpful it’s annoying. I call her a nerd, because she likes schoolwork, just like her mother.
  A year and a half later,another girl, Evelyn Grace. She’s the tomboy of the bunch. She would rather be outside than anything. She’s very difficult to keep clean. As a matter of fact, She gets in trouble almost every day for going outside without permission. She’s also stubborn, like me. A lot of times, she would rather get in trouble than do what she’s supposed to.
  I was thinking, that I would never have a son. But God gave me one. December 6, 2010, He gave us Tobias Colton. He is so full of energy, and fun, and spoiled rotten by his sisters. He sure loves his daddy. Every time he prays, he asks for me to get better. It’s such a blessing, it thrills my heart to have my three year old son pray for me. Sometimes it makes me cry. He’s a mini me. And he’s huge, about 4ft tall, and 54 pounds.  He’s such a blessing.

 All these rascals are the loves of my life, and I love them all so much.

For the past 10 years or so, I’ve been dealing with neck pain. It started out sporadic, and slowly got more intense and constant to the point where I couldn’t stand it. All this time, I was pretending to be a good Christian, going to church and doing the things I was supposed to do, but I wasn’t reading my Bible or praying. My heart wasn’t right with God. I was joyful on the outside, but inside I had no joy in my heart. 

God needed to get my attention, and he did.

In February, I had an MRI which showed bone spurs growing into my spinal cord. I wasn’t able to get into the neurosurgeon until May 12th. Those past few months were the most painful of my life.

On May 20th, I had neck surgery (Anterior Cervical Diskectomy and Fusion) to remove the bone spurs and then fuse the vertebrae together to prevent further issues. It was supposed to be a routine surgery that they have done thousands of times.

The surgery went well, but somehow they lost the oxygen to my brain during it. That was bad. Because of this, I was in a coma for 18 days. Through everyone’s prayer and my wife’s stubbornness nagging the doctors, I’m alive today. They thought I was going to be a vegetable for the rest of my life, but God had other plans for me.

I pray every day to thank him for letting me live another day. I thank him for what happened to me, and ask him what he wants to do with my life. I know he kept me alive for a reason. 

When I woke up, the first thing I saw was my wife. I’m very thankful for that. 

I couldn’t move at all. I could only move my eyes. My wife held up an ipad with a word on it and asked if I could understand it. I blinked that I could. That was a blessing to her, telling her that I wasn’t braindead.

After a while, I was able to move my right arm a little bit. She made a “cheat sheet” with words on it. When she would point to a certain word, I would blink when it was the one I wanted. After a few days of this, it got to the point where I could move my arm enough to point to letters and spell out words. It was such a blessing to finally be able to communicate. Me and that cheat sheet were best friends. I panicked if I couldn’t see it or couldn’t reach it.

I began to think and realize that I wasn’t right after hearing Mindi read the Bible to me. I knew that I had a hard heart and started praying about that. I prayed for a soft heart. I couldn’t talk out loud, but I could pray to God. God did a lot of work in my heart during this time. I prayed A LOT since I had a lot of down time.

After a while, I could speak in a whisper. Mindi was pretty thrilled with that. She started making me say sounds like “Ahhh” and making me try to pronounce the alphabet. I was pretty mad and frustrated some times, but she kept making me do it. She’s been my best therapist ever. She worked so hard. After I could whisper just a little bit, she’d make me say words. I was so thirsty that “ice” was one of my favorite words to say. I was so happy when they let me start having a few ice chips.

After saying a few words: it, cow, wow, mom, ice, pop…. I finally said “I love you” to Mindi. It was my first sentence. I did love her. I do love her right now so much. She’s even typing this out for me as I talk. Right now, I’m about to cry just thinking about her (he is crying).

On June 19th, I was moved to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta, GA. This helped me out so much. The therapists are so awesome. I never had a bad day of therapy. They think I’m strange, but I loved my therapy. I enjoyed it all the time. I know the joy I had all the time was because of God. Every time they would come in the room, I’d be reading my Bible. 

I did a lot of Bible reading rather than watching TV. All that Bible reading helped me so much. With God’s help, I’ve been a good testimony.

On July 3rd, I stood up for the first time since the surgery. It was such a blessing to be upright again. It was a miracle. I know it was only because God was on my side. He is the Great Physician. Philippians 4:13 was my verse. Every time I had a hard time in therapy, I’d quote it. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” and I have.

Every time I go to therapy, I go farther and get stronger. I know this is because God is helping me.

On July 10th, one week after I stood up, I walked for the first time. I walked about 90 feet. I sure was tired. I was wiped out, but it was a good tiredness. Now I can walk with a walker (not all the time, just while I’m in therapy). I’m slowly getting stronger every day.

On August 5th, I graduated from Shepherd Center and moved to Shepherd Pathways, a more intense rehab place. One of the blessings of graduating was that it allowed me to move back in with my family. It is such a blessing not be back with them every day.

I’m in class Monday - Friday 11-4. I’ve only been there for a week, but already I’m noticing that I’m stronger and more steady on my feet. Between doing balancing drills and walking, along with my other therapies, I’m pretty tired by the end of the day. In Occupational Therapy, I learn things like tying my shoes. Today, I bent over and almost tied my shoes. Well, not quite, I ended up taking off the shoe and holding it in my lap to try. In Music Therapy, I’ve been practicing “It is well with my soul”. On August 24th, I’m supposed to sing with my family in the chapel here. I’m excited about it. I love singing. Pray that my voice will be strong. I know I’ll do fine with God’s help. In Speech Therapy, I haven’t started swallowing yet. I still eat through a tube in my stomach. I tell God it’s ok if he wants me eating like this for the rest of my life. It’s just kind of an inconvenience. They’ve been doing cognitive stuff with me to see if I’m a dummy. I’m not! I did very well with their testing, but I do have things to work on. I’m not brilliant yet…. almost…

This time has been a challenging but fun time for me. As crazy as it sounds, I’ve enjoyed all of it. I am so happy that God did this to me, so that I could be right with him. I’m a better father and better husband. You can ask my wife if you want.

I hope this testimony has been a blessing to you. If you’re not right with God, get right before God has to get drastic to get your attention.

I’m glad God chose this method of getting my attention, rather than anything happening to my family. As I sang It Is Well With My Soul today, I was thinking about the author’s story and how he lost his family. I’m glad I can truly say, it is well with my soul.

I’m His now. Completely sold out to God. I’m looking forward to finishing my therapy, getting home, and seeing how God can work through me. 

If you’re not saved, I’d love to talk with you more and tell you how you can get saved. Giving my life to the Lord Jesus Christ was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Love in Christ,


To leave Dave a message, please visit their site at YouCaring.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Healthy Minute- Goldenseal Root

I first learned about goldenseal when I moved to Louisiana.
Growing up in Florida was very different. I didn't really have acne, or a skin care routine. I just used whatever soap my mom had and washed my face at night before going to bed. I'd get the occasional zit here or there, but that was it.
Then I moved to Louisiana, where there's always around an 80% humidity. The winters feel colder than they actually are; the summers make you sweat just walking to the mailbox. My hair became a frizzy mess, and my skin broke out like crazy. I could wash my face at 8:00 am and by 9:30 am it was so oily and nasty!
In came goldenseal. I learned that if I took 2 capsules for 3 days in a row that my face would clear up. The oiliness wouldn't go away, but the acne would! And I began to wonder why.
Goldenseal has been used by American Indians for centuries. They knew about it's healing properties for both internal and external issues. They would wash wounds with it, put it on swollen areas, and even make a tea to drink for other ailments.
Goldenseal is a blood cleanser and immune system booster. It is said that it also contains antibiotic and astringent properties. It helps with fevers, congestion, and even colds. Internally it helps your glands, digestion, and liver.
Goldenseal also contains a whole host of vitamins and minerals- including calcium, Vitamin C, and B complex.Using it as a wash can help eczema and ringworm, and as a paste can be put on boils and abscesses.  It's safe to gargle with and can help gum disease and sore throats.
Since goldenseal is really powerful, it's recommended that you don't take it more than 3 weeks straight. In high doses it can cause inflammation to the mucus membranes in the body. I, personally, only take it every 2 weeks for 3 days.
Another caution, goldenseal can induce labor; so it should be avoided by pregnant women.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Growing Up Duggar book review

I don't know if you've ever heard of the Duggar family. They are a Bible believing family in Arkansas that has a lot of children. The parents, Jim Bob and Michelle, have a reality tv show and some books which they have written.
The book, Growing Up Duggar, that I am reviewing is written by their 4 oldest daughters.
I could not imagine growing up in a family with almost 20 children. Nevertheless, trying to teach those children character- kindness, thoughtfulness, and meekness. These things aren't natural to us, and certainly aren't the usual responses you see from children.
Growing Up Duggar is filled with scriptural ideas that the Duggar children have been raised to follow. There are practical tips for young ladies when dealing with parents, siblings, and even friends. There's encouragement to do right even if you're not seeing the results yet. There's wonderful exhortation on a relationship with God.
I really enjoyed the examples on child training. Being a mom who wants to learn how to "train up my child", I was very hungry for suggestions on biblical exercises and practices that I could use. There are many ideas in this book which you can see the results of. The "obedience game" is probably my favorite!
I would recommend this book to any young ladies out there, or even to parents. I think boys could read it, too, but I'm not sure that they would readily agree to. In the Duggar girls' own words, this book is about relationships. Our relationship with God will directly affect our relationship with others; and everyone could use a little relationship advice every now and again.

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Believer's Heritage- Alexander Mackay

Alexander Mackay was born in Scotland in 1849. His father was a preacher, and often when he was away, his mother would tell him stories of the brave missionaries who changed the world for Christ.
He not only loved the Lord, but also was gifted at mechanics. He would go to the building site of the local church to watch the men work. The men would ask him if he was going to preach to them. Alexander's response was, "Give me a trowel, so I can build and preach at the same time."
He wanted to learn about the trains that passed through 4 miles from his home. He learned all he could about the ships in the docks. He wanted to learn about engineering, and went to Germany to further his studies in this field.
The stories of David Livingston never left his mind. "What could an engineer do in Africa?", he would ask himself.
One night, in 1875, he read an article in the Edinburg Daily review. The article was written by Henry Stanley. It told of King M'tesa of Uganda who wanted to know about the "white man's God". Stanley wrote that someone who could cure diseases and build dwellings would be welcomed.
Alexander always liked John the Baptist- the man who was sent to prepare the way for the Lord. Now, he saw that he could be both a minister and an engineer in Africa. He could build the village and show people the gospel of Christ.
He wrote the Church Missionary Society telling them of his burden. Just 4 months later, Alexander and seven others were on their way to Africa.
They landed in Zanzibar in 1876 and then had to make the 800 mile trip to Lake Victoria. Before leaving, however, Alexander got very sick. He had to stay while the others went on ahead.
When he recovered, he was told to wait until the rainy season had ended. He wasn't idle during this time, though. He built a 230 mile wagon road from the coast to Mpwapwa. What once was dense forest was now a road wide enough for 2 wagons to pass each other. Alexander said that he hoped this road would prepare the way of the Lord into the heart of Africa.
Alexander arrived in Uganda in 1878.
Uganda is the home of Lake Victoria. The people lived in fear of evil spirits and sorcerers. The natives had charms on their bodies and their homes to ward off these spirits, and would often offer sacrifices for protection. There were many different gods who each had a specific charm that was needed. People would have charms for snake bites, diseases, and and even to prevent earthquakes and famines.
At the time, it was ruled by King M'tesa of the Waganda. It was customary for King M'tesa to sell his people into slavery to Arabians in exchange for clothes and weapons.
The thought of human trafficking was unsavory to Alexander. He thought of John the Baptist losing his head for standing up to King Herod. But, he knew he must do what was right. He pointed out the as King, he was like a father to his people. He talked of the cruelty that his people would face if they were sold as slaves to the Arabians.
King M'tesa thought about what Alexander had said. He realized it was wrong and said he would no more sell his people as slaves. He later sent a present, a small goat, to thank the "white man". Because of his honesty the chief made him his blood-brother.
Alexander tried hard to show them that their charms couldn't protect them. One day, he bought a powerful charm and then asked the people if he could burn it. They said that he would anger the god of the charm.
He burned the charm to ashes. Half of the crowd fled, and the rest watched to see if some tragic disaster would claim his life.
When speaking to King M'tesa about death, he said that what you're buried with didn't matter. He pointed out that the Waganda lived in fear of witches and sorcerers, and the fear didn't end when they died. He said that their souls were lost in the darkeness of the belief of witches and charms, but that his own soul was saved by Jesus Christ and that he had no fear of what would happen at death.
Alexander set up a workshop and built things for the people. He was a curiosity to the Waganda who thought that women were for work and men were for war. They called him "White man of work".
Many of the people got sick from drinking the marsh waters. So, Alexander dug a well. The people thought it was funny because they knew that water came from the heavens, not the ground.
He took ox fat and made candles. This was very interesting to the Waganda, who watched him intently.
He started a school and taught some of the people to read and write Suahili (the native language). He translated and printed portions of the New Testament for the people to have their own copy of God's Word. He also translated the gospel of Matthew into Luganda.
His desire to see souls saved was never lost during his improvement of the Uganda civilization.
His life was not without it's problems. The Arabians were not happy about the loss of their "trade negotiations". And the French priests had come, and started stirring up trouble. King M'tesa himself turned out to be a blood-thirsty tyrant.
The King wasn't happy with Alexander because he didn't think having 300 wives was wrong. Though Alexander plainly told him the truth, the Arabians used subtlety and diplomacy and the French spouted policy and conduct. They even overlooked the 5 times in 2 years that King M'tesa sent his warriors to destroy and take captives and plunder from the neighboring villages.
King M'tesa's cruelty extended to his own people. Though he had stopped selling them into slavery, he hadn't stopped killing them to seize their assets. Alexander witnessed what he called their butchering almost every day.
On top of these routine killings, there was also a ritual where they would gather many victims and at the end of a certain amount of time they would be sacrificed to the various gods. In 1881, Alexander witnessed 2,000 people slaughtered in one day for this ritual.
In 1883, the King had come down with some sickness, and the witch doctor told him that he needed a mass killing to appease the god and so he could get better. Though Alexander tried to plead with the king that this was wrong, he was ignored.
When M'tesa died, his son M'wanga took the rule. He was a cruel child of 18. He blamed the Christians for his troubles. Along with an Arabian, M'wanga caught 3 of the converted Waganda. The oldest was 15 and the youngest was 12. They wouldn't denounce Christ, and so they were mutilated and burned.
A man who had come to help Alexander was met by his soldiers at Lake Victoria and speared before he had even made it to the village. His last words were, "Tell your king that I give my life for the people of Uganda."
Next, the king had 200 Christians tortured and killed. His head executioner told him that he had never seen such calmness and bravery from those who faced death.
Alexander was able to meet up with Henry Stanley, the man who's article had encouraged him to come to Uganda. Stanley wanted Alexander to come back to England and refresh himself, but Alexander wouldn't leave the work without someone to finish it.
Only a few months later, in 1890, he contracted a fever and went on to meet those who had gone before him. His life was spent teaching, building, helping, and serving- the impact of his sacrifice wouldn't be seen for a few more decades.
In 1922, Basil Matthews, Prime Minister of Uganda, told a story of being beaten by King M'wanga because he believed in Christ. But, he also told of M'wanga's son, King Kaudi the Christian. In the spot where the 3 young boys gave their lives for Christ stands a cross, erected by 70,000 Waganda Christians. And the capitol of Uganda has a beautiful church. No more slave trade or ritual sacrifice.
Alexander Mackay may not have lived to see these results of his life's work, but somehow he knew that his life wouldn't be in vain. He said, "The conquest of Africa has already cost many lives; but the end to be gained is worth the price paid. Let us not forget that the redemption of the world cost infinitely more."

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Crawfish Pie recipe

3 TBS olive oil
3/4 cup diced yellow onion
1/4 cup diced green bell pepper
1 TBS salt
3/4 tsp cayenne pepper
2 lbs crawfish tails
1/2 cup chopped green onions
1 TBS chopped garlic
3 TBS finely chopped parsley
2 large eggs
3/4 cup Italian bread crumbs
1 can cream of celery soup
2 cups shredded mozzerella cheese
1/2 cup diced sun dried tomatoes
2 pie crusts with tops

Saute the onion bell pepper, salt and cayenne in a large pot in olive oil for 2 minutes. Add crawfish tails and cook for 2 minutes longer. Add green onions, garlic, and parsley and cook for 1 minute more. Remove from heat and add eggs, bread crumbs, cream of celery soup, mozzerella cheese, and sundried tomatoes. Mix all ingredients well.
Spoon into pie shells and cover with the pie crust top. Poke some holes in the top with a fork.
Bake  according to package directions on the pie shells.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Fleeing From The Presence Of The LORD (video sermon)

The Lord has led me to another sermon from Jonah. Again, we are going to look at his children's favorite story through the lens of grown up eyes.

This sermon is about how Jonah thought he could flee from the presence of the Lord. Jonah was told by God to go preach to the wicked, heathen city of Nineveh. But Jonah didn't want to. The Bible doesn't elaborate on Jonah's reasons; but really do we need to know the excuses behind disobedience?

Jonah was a preacher. A prophet. A man of God. The one who God sent to tell others His word. The Bible doesn't say that Jonah had any job other than this. And yet, in Jonah chapter 1, Jonah is doing exactly the opposite of what his job was suppose to be.

God didn't ask Jonah his opinion. God didn't wait for Jonah to say what his choice in the matter was. God didn't tell him to preach salvation. God commanded Jonah to preach judgement.

But, Jonah didn't like these people. He wasn't happy about being told to go to the evil Gentile nation and preach. Perhaps he thought the journey was too much to ask of him- 3 days of travelling. Whatever the reason, Jonah had made up his mind that this was too much for God to ask of him.

Jonah knew that God was merciful. He tells God, in Jonah chapter 4, that he didn't want to see these wicked people repent and receive mercy from the Lord. So, Jonah flees from the presence of the Lord.

What makes a person think that they can get away from the eyes of the omniscient, omnipotent God of all creation? Why would a God that would mete out judgement to an evil city not serve judgement of the one who was suppose to be His minister? Who is above the sentence of righteousness?

Not Cain when fleeing from the murder of his brother. Not Satan when he leaves God's throne to tempt Job to sin. Not the sinner in the last days. And not the prophet Jonah who was blatantly disobeying God's command.

How many times do we allow sin in our lives and then we try to hide from God's presence? We know we're guilty so we stay away from church. We don't want to hear from those who are trying to serve the Lord. We don't want our conscience to be pricked by God's Word. This stuff makes us feel bad because we're guilty.

We find ourselves in sin and we start doing the opposite of what God expects of us. We make excuses as to why we are justified in running away from God's will. But, the truth is, we cannot run from the presence of God.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

A Daughter's Take On Her Father's Story (poem)

On the day of the surgery my dad did not wake up.

When he did not wake up, we wondered,

"How long will it take?"

When he finally woke up, we found that he could not speak.

Though his brain worked just fine, his body was weak.

We moved to a rehab called Shepherd,

A place to help Daddy get well.

The first time he walked my heart soared like a bird,

The whole world I wanted to tell.

Now, praise be to God, my father can talk.

Still working on it, but he also can walk.

It wasn't doctors or nurses, although they've all been great!

It's certainly not luck, and I know it's not fate.

We have so much to thank Jesus for,

When we needed a miracle, He opened the door.

He's been the best friend that we ever had.

And if anyone asks, it was He who saved my dad!

-Iris Fredrick

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Funny Happenings- Counting

As I've stated before, I've got 5 younger siblings. I had a lot of time helping them learn different things- there was some softball practice, boot camp where we all did sit ups and push ups, and swimming.
There was also some help with schooling. My brother, Josh, was a very literal person. You couldn't just say something to him. Once I told him that Mom was down the road and around the corner, and he went to find which corner.
While we were outside one day, Josh yelled, "I can count to 10!" And then as he lifted one finger at a time he called out, "1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10!"
"That's great!", someone hollered back. "Can you count higher?"
Josh thought about this for a moment and replied, "yes." And then raised his arms above his head and said, "1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10! See!"

Monday, September 1, 2014

When Lust Conceives

There are just some sins that are hard to talk about. Gluttony, oversleeping, under sleeping, working too much, not taking care of the temple of God, etc. are just some sins that pastors tend to overlook. 
These over-looked sins are the ones that are the most damaging because they take root and grow into a strong deterant before many people even realize they were there. Lust is one of these sins.
James 1:13-15- Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.  Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
Lust is what allows sin to be appealing to us. Lust is what makes us desire to sin. And when lust gets it's way, the consequences aren't so pleasant!
II Samuel 13:1-2- And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.  And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her.  
The Bible says that it was love. The Bible says that Amnon loved her.
But lust is an interesting thing. He never should have entertained the idea of Tamar because she was his sister. If you ponder it, you will start believing it. And when that happens, the devil will make sure you believe you deserve the object of your desires.
II Samuel 13:3-5- But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man.  And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.  And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.
The devil gives him the opportunity to take his desires. This isn't true love. True love doesn't go about getting what it wants for only itself. True love doesn't think of it's own pleasure. But lust does. 
What is the end of this?
II Samuel 13:14-15- Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.
The Bible shows us that what Amnon thought was true love was actually a counterfeit. It was lust. It was a fleshly desire fueled by lust.
Amnon ends up being killed by Tamar's sister as a consequence for his actions. But, poor Tamar lives the rest of her days as a devastated shadow of her former self. Lust never thinks of the consequences to the other person, either.
There are many people who say they love someone so they sleep with them- they don't realize the damage they are doing. Even if they get married later, there are consequences to that sin that don't just go away!
Colossians 3:3-6- For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.  When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.  Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:  For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: 
The wrath of God is the consequence you will face for these sins.
I just have to have it! I desire it so much and I just know that my life will be better with it! We've all heard it before- from our children, from our friends, and even from our own hearts. It's my life, let me live it.
James 4:1-4- From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
Can a Christian become God's enemy? Certainly, if he follows his own desires instead of God's will for his life. He won't lose his salvation, but he can certainly lose a whole lot besides that! 
What do you do when you are being tempted by your own desires?
I Corinthians 10:13- There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
II Peter 1:4- Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
Just rest in God's promises and flee youthful lusts!
But, I've already given in to the temptation. 
Isaiah 55:7- Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
You've got to confess and forsake it. Why do I say forsake it? Because, you will be confronted with it again. It can grab a hold of you and deceive you; It can own you and destroy you if you aren't ready to fight it!
Galatians 5:16- This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. 
Get close to God. Read your Bible, Pray, Witness, and Memorize! Prepare your spiritual weapons against the day of battle!