We were recently hit with the news that my sister has stage 4 liver cancer that had already spread to other organs and her bones. To say that the news was reeling would be to put it mildly. I began to think of all the things that she would miss. Would she see her children married? Would she get to hold her grandchildren? The list goes on.
I'm the type of person that needs to do something to fix things. But I can't fix cancer. So, I started looking at what she would need to accomplish before the Lord decided to take her home.
I created a list of things to consider having prepared for those that she left behind. I wanted to make it as easy as possible for them. So, I'm sharing that list with you. Cancer gives you an ETA, but there are other ways to die that are sudden, and we should always be prepared since death is inevitable and the timing is uncertain.
1) Create an "in case of death binder" (preferably in a waterproof safe) with all important paperwork:
- Medical Documents
- Bank account numbers, both checking and savings
- Insurance policies - life, home, auto, etc
- Investment account details
- Safe deposit box location, number, and keys
- Social security card, birth certificates, marriage certificates, and passports, etc
- Utility and other monthly billing information
- Mortgage, deed, or lease for your home or residence
- Vehicle titles
- Internet account numbers and passwords, including subscriptions and email accounts
- Utility statements, phone bills, other monthly payment for your houshold
- Important phone numbers for family members, your lawyer, doctor, and financial planner, pastor, and your preferred funeral home.
Generally you will update this every January with all new current documents.
If you are looking to get life insurance, then I recommend Term Life. Follow this link to see what the difference is and why it's best to get term life instead of whole life.
2) Add a trusted person to your bank account so that they can pay the bills. If you have any safe deposit boxes add that person as a co-owner to those, too. IF you have a co-owner on your account, then they can sign in and use your funds to pay the bills. The only person that has access to a safe deposit box is the owner- if you don't have co-owner no one is getting into that box without going through the courts!
Adding a person to your bills makes them liable. You could add someone to your utility bills so that they can speak to the companies on your behalf, but you may not want to saddle them with your loans or credit card bills so leave their names off those.
If you don't want to a person to your bank accounts, add the children as "payable on Death" beneficiaries to your accounts. Most banks and credit unions offer this. This will allow them to access the monies with just an ID and your death certificate.
No one can legally sign on your behalf if you are incapacitated without going to court (this is also where a POA comes in, see item 4).
3) Last Will & Testament (to whom you want your property and responsibilities to go) with three different people in order to take care of guardianship and other matters- i.e. my mother {NAME}, but if she is unable or unwilling, then ....
If you don't have a will, this will go to intestacy and the judge gets to decide everything. With a will you decide where all your assets (and non-probate assets) go. Be specific. If you want a specific person to have your vehicle, name it. If you want your wedding rings to go to your daughter, call it out. The more specific, the easier it will be on your loved ones.
With this step, decide if you need to set up a Trust Fund for any assets, bank accounts, retirement or life insurance monies, etc. The Secure Act requires that these monies need to be used completely within ten years after the date of death of the original owner. A trust would put a Trustee in charge to decide how to divy the funds out over the next ten years. Look into "eligible designated beneficiaries".
4) Medical and Financial Power of Attorney. These can be the same person or different people. The wording can give them the authority only if you are incapable of making those decisions yourself- I also recommend these for any disabled person or special needs person in your family. If you can add a successor onto these, in case the first choice is unavailable, you should do that as well.
5) Long term care plan for special needs or disabled persons. If you have a relative who is suddenly saddled with your kids and a person with special needs it might overwhelm them. Giving them a plan to follow will make things a lot easier and less stressful.
6) Living Trust (paperwork) that tells what you want to happen after death, and plan what you want done at your funeral, if you want buried or cremated, and where you want laid to rest. This is will take the burden off of them in trying to figure it all out. You could even write your own obituary for them to have on hand so they don't have to struggle with coming up with the right words while grieving.
7) Update your beneficiaries on all your policies with primary and contingent beneficiaries. You can word it so that if your child gets married, and then passes before you, that their portion of your willed benefits goes to their children and not their spouse.
Beneficiary driven assets are not "frozen" by the court upon death, and can be accessed without having to hire an attorney and go through succession/ probate process.
8) End-of-life documents- a DNR (Do not resuscitate), POLST Physician orders for life sustaining treatment), and similar documents—these are medical orders that you must ask your doctor to draft for you.
While you can do all of this without any legal consult, there are benefits to hiring an attorney. Some heirs find themselves having to go through probate because the will was void due to not following legal requirements. EXAMPLE-Louisiana is different than every other state. Only two types of wills are legal in this state. One is olographic (written entirely by hand) and the other is notarial (signed by a notary and two witnesses).
9) I prefer to make this a Legacy Binder. Add in a section with your stories. What it was like growing up with your family. Did you face any particular hardships? How did you meet your spouse? Did you create a family tree and how far back does it go? How did you get saved?
The last thing would be to make sure you know where your soul will spend eternity. The Bible says you can know. You may spend days or even months preparing for when you die, but if you don't prepare for your soul then all that time for you, personally, was wasted.
This is something that we should all think about, regardless of age or health. None of us know the day of our death. There's no expiration date stamped on our bodies- which is both a blessing and an annoyance.
Ecclesiastes 8:8- There is no man that hath power over the spirit to retain the spirit; neither hath he power in the day of death: and there is no discharge in that war; neither shall wickedness deliver those that are given to it.
We will all die someday, and after that we will stand before God. But we can be saved from what the Bible calls the "second death". The second death is the eternal death of the soul.
Revelation 20:11-14- And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.
Our soul has a debt that must be paid. Either we accept that Christ was the son of God manifest in the flesh who died to pay the debt for our sin on the cross, was buried, and rose again the third day proving that He was God, OR we pay for it ourselves in Hell. The choice can only be made by you; and not making a choice is actually defaulting to paying it by yourself. You must ask God to apply Christ's payment on the cross to your sin debt to get your name written down in the book of life.
It's really very simple. Just believe, confess, and ask. For more information on preparing your soul for death, please follow this link.
