If you read last month's post on Marriage, Husbands, and Wives, then you are either really curious or fuming! But God has an opinion on how things are suppose to be, and if you were upset by last month's post then you're really gonna be upset about this one!
There are a lot of different views going around about divorce. Some people are totally for it, while some are adamantly against it.Some people will say, "This spiritual person told me..." But, as with all topics, I like to find out what the Bible says.
Marriage
Genesis 2:21-24- And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
God made one man and one woman. They were to marry and leave to start a family of their own. They were considered one- Mr. and Mrs. Adam.
You don't read about polygamy until later when men had corrupted their way on the earth. And divorce isn't mentioned until Moses tells them about it after their 400 years in Egypt.
Well, my pastor said it was okay for me to divorce them.
My parents are really godly and they said that it wasn't God's will for me to marry that person and I should divorce and try again.
They weren't God's will for my life, but I married them anyways. So, now I'm going to divorce them and find God's will for my life.
Two wrongs don't make a right! You married them and now they are God's will for your life- suck it up and do right! It's funny people say "I do" and then a few years later they say "I didn't really mean it". What if God did that?
Divorce isn't the answer. I don't care how "spiritual" you think someone is, you should find out what God says. Some people go to marriage counselors not to find out what God has to say, but to find someone to justify and back them up in their rebellion.
Divorce
What did Christ say about it?
Matthew 5:31-32- It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
The Jews were giving out divorce papers whenever they were no longer pleased with their wives. It was a nice change from the pagans who could just kill their wives for any reason! The Pharisees even thought they could cause Jesus to trip up on this.
Matthew 19:3-9- The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Christ told them that God had made marriage to be "until death do us part". The only reason He gave that would be lawful was fornication. If you slept around while you were married, the offended party had the right to divorce you. But, He also says that whoever was sleeping around was guilty of adultery even after the divorce!
So, if you were seeping around after you got divorced and then you decided to get married again, you and the person you married are living in an adulterous relationship. Why? Because you weren't suppose to leave your first spouse!
Well, that is before Christ died, so it is still Old Testament law.
Nope! Paul also says it in Romans 7:2-3- For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
Paul says if your husband dies, you can remarry. But, if you get married to another man while your husband is still alive you are an adulterer, and the person you married is committing adultery being with you.
Don't get mad at me! Read the scripture again. It's God's Word, is it not? You believe what God says, right?
When a man's relationship with his wife is messed up, God won't listen to his prayers- I Peter 3:7- Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
You want God to hear your prayers, right? Especially when you need him!
These people who go around saying "irreconcilable differences" are destroying their relationship with Christ, their spouse's relationship with Christ, and the person they get involved with next relationship with Christ. You better fix your marriage, and not with a divorce paper. Why?
I Corinthians 6:15-19- Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
I married the wrong person, so I divorced him to find God's will for my life.
They changed and were no longer the same. So I found someone I could love again.
Well, we slept together before we were married, but we got right and married.
Um, you are an adulterer. You say you are a Christian and yet you pulled Christ into a very grievous sin. This is the only sin that a person commits where it effects not only his body, but also his relationship with Christ. Getting married didn't fix the problem!
What about the people you were "with" before you remarried? What about the people your ex gets with? Where in the Bible does it say that "trying out the relationship" before you get married is okay? What verse backs up you leaving your spouse to make your life what you want it to be?
Too many people go around sleeping with whomever and think that their relationship with Christ is fine. It's not! You're so far gone that you can't even hear him speaking to you anymore!
So, what about divorce?
I Corinthians 7:10-11, 39- And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. ... The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
So, legal ground for divorce are death and fornication. Some people interject desertion into this equation, but I would make sure that the deserting party was committing fornication before I accepted that since Paul doesn't mention it.
Well, you don't know the person I'm married to! They seemed nice enough when I met them, but they aren't the same person I married.
Guess what! You aren't the same person they married! Paul doesn't say it's okay if they change. Both of you are going to change over the years. That's no excuse. You chose them in the first place (and I've got to wonder if it was against the Lord's wishes and you just ignored him) and now you are suppose to live for Christ as best you can without compromising truth and accept the consequences for your actions.
The divorce was filed for, but I just met this person and I fell in love and we decided we couldn't wait for the divorce to be finalized.
Nope. That doesn't fly either. It's still fornication until you are married to that person, which you can't legally do if the divorce isn't finalized. And let me just say- if you were "messing around" before you got married and the Lord convicted you and you decided to marry them against the Lord's wishes because you thought that would make everything better you were wrong. Now, you are suppose to live for Christ as best you can without compromising truth and accept the consequences for your actions.
Well, I said I don't love you anymore and I want a divorce, but they filed for it. So I'm not guilty and my remarriage is okay with God.
You are the instigator. Would they have filed if you hadn't said that? I guess you'll never know. You are to blame! You're not suppose to go on feelings. You're suppose to love them because you married them (Ephesians 5:22-33). You are suppose to live for Christ as best you can without compromising truth and accept the consequences for your actions.
Paul is picking on women!
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Paul may be talking about the woman because in the Jewish law men filed for the divorce, but both men and women are held to this standard-Galatians 3:28- There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
We are having marital problems. What should we do then?
I Corinthians 7:10-11- And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Paul gives those who are having marriage problems a solution. You can separate while you work things out. But you aren't suppose to divorce- you remain unmarried (unmarried meaning living as if you are single, but you're really still married to your spouse) or be reconciled (get back with your spouse). There's nowhere in the Bible where you are told to find someone else.
What if I'm married to an unsaved person?
I Corinthians 7:13-16- And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
An unsaved person is not bound under Christ's law. If the unsaved spouse wants to leave, then you can let them leave- you aren't sinning. But, if they want to remain married to you and you divorce them using them being unsaved as an excuse, you are sinning. Paul said let her not leave him because you could ultimately lead them to the Lord!
I would like to mention children here. I've heard too many divorced people talking about how terrible their ex is and how horrible their children have it when they have to go stay with the ex during visitation. If you had never divorced, you'd be there to protect your children!
If you are the one that was divorced and you did everything you could to save your marriage, then God will protect your children because you put Him first.
Okay, well what about remarriage?
Taking into consideration that your spouse is either dead, or is committing adultery and your divorce is finalized- you are free to remarry. But, Paul states a few conditions.
I Corinthians 7:39- The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
Paul stated above you could remarry "in the Lord". That means that you remarry a saved person.
II Corinthians 6:14- Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
I would caution you to make sure that they are really Christian. Not in name, but in works. There are plenty of people who walk the walk and talk the talk until you have a ring on your finger. Then you see just how worldly they are. They may be saved, but they certainly aren't a Christian! In that case, you are having fellowship with unrighteousness.
Do you really want to live the rest of your life fighting your spouse just to do the things that are right? Do you really want to argue about whether you should spend money on going to church instead of going to a family movie? Is it going to be edifying to your Christian walk to constantly battle which friends, what music, modest apparel, or even drinking and dancing and other worldly party favors?
Sometimes the devil doesn't tempt us with evil. Sometimes he allures us with something that sees good, just to keep us from God's best!
It's a hard thought. Perhaps some of you have never thought of this. I dare say many of you have had your own preset ideas of how it should work and what would be okay. But, you should always find out what they Bible says, for you never know when someone "godly" would lead you into sin.
If you are in one of these scenarios, I suggest you do some serious praying and Bible reading to find out what God wants you to do!
