Funny Happenings- Christmas List

 My d-year-old granddaughter grabbed a marker and started drawing on a piece of paper. I asked her what she was doing and she answered, “I’m writing something.” When she finished she handed it to me and said, “This is my Christmas list!” It was then set on my nightstand for future purchases.

Funny Happenings- Getting around

 One of my children was learning about people who get paralyzed. She looked at me very seriously and asked if they had to use wheelchairs to move around.

I was about to answer her when my husband asked, "How else would they get around?"

This then got my son to respond with what he thought would be a good alternative, "Henchmen!"

Deodorant

It's hard having a teenager! You have to remind them constantly to brush their teeth, comb their hair, use soap and deodorant, put the clothes in the hamper, etc.
I say it so much that my little ones decided to get in on the action.
My seven year old now walks around the house saying he has "oderant" and it's called sweat.

Funny Happening- Southerners and Veggies

Funny Happenings- Wife Doesn’t Know What It Means

Funny Happenings- Southern Home Security System

Funny Happenings- Awkward Questions

Funny Happenings- Ladies' Fellowship

My sister-in-law and I were talking about the upcoming Ladies' Fellowship that our church was having. There was a lot of little things that needed to get finished before the day arrived.
My husband had just found out that the event was for ladies and nursing babies only, and that the men were going to have to watch the other children.
So, as we were discussing little things, my husband asks, "What will you ladies be "shipping" about?"
My middle daughter was old enough to go to this fellowship meeting, and she turned from our conversation and responded to her father, "The fellows!"

Funny Happenings- Don't Distract The Driver

Funny Happenings- Being Special

So, we went to my friend's house for a play date today. My son asked the lady of the house for a bag of popcorn.
She put the popcorn in the microwave, but hit stop instead of start.
After a few, my son came back to her to ask if the popcorn was ready.
She checked the microwave and said, exasperatedly, "I'm retarded!"
My son, who was 4, got excited and exclaimed, "So am I!!"

Funny Happenings- Old Fashioned Phone

Recently, there was a commercial for the Keurig coffee pot that aired. A young man is making coffee, and he decides to call his mother while it's brewing.
The mother answers her cordless landline phone...
The rest of the commercial was drowned out by my friend's little boy who loudly exclaimed, "That lady just answered her remote thinking it was a phone! How crazy!"

Funny Happenings- Fixing BooBoo's

When my kids were little I learned 2 things- kisses fix everything and get their mind off it.
If they ever got a booboo, as long as I could do those 2 things, they were happy.
Recently, my nephew went running through the church and bonked his head on one of the pews. He had been told numerous times by everyone not to run in church! So, he came up to me with tears in his eyes, but trying not to look like he was hurt.
"Knocked your head?" I asked.
"Yes." he replied sheepishly.
Thinking that getting his mind off of it would be the best route, I told him, "Well, go let your daddy lick it and it will be all better."
He pulled back and looked at me with disgust, and said, "No!"
And then he shocked me by adding, "I want you to lick it."

Got The Runs

My friend's little girl was having tummy troubles. She went to the doctor and found out that she was severely constipated. They told her to put her on laxatives to help her move thing along.
The laxatives worked a little too well and she ended up with the runs.
She didn't understand what they were and this conversation ensued:
"When you go to the bathroom and you poop you need to tell me." her mom said.
"I didn't go poop. I only went pee." she replied.
"No, you did go poop. It's just liquidy and sounds like pee. It's called having diarrhea." her mom informed her.
Later, as she and her brother were playing she got up and ran as fast as she could to the bathroom. Barely making it onto the toilet in time she yelled to her mom, "Yep! It's bacteria again!"

Funny Happenings- How I Look

During a rather stressful time, I was really broken out with acne. I was trying to change our diet to include more veggies, and less gluten- to my husband's horror!
We were eating dinner one night, and it wasn't exactly the best meal. I had grated up some summer squash and added it to the pot to get some veggies in there. The squash hadn't fully cooked and was hard to chew.
Through the children grumbling and complaining, I stated that I ate the squash  before and it was fine. I just hadn't cooked it long enough.
My nephew looked at my very seriously and asked, "Is that why you look like that? Or, did a bunch of bugs bite you?"

Funny Happenings- All The Pennies

It was my friend's son's 16th birthday. He was going to have a crawfish boil with his family and our family to celebrate.
His 5 year old brother was very excited, "Mrs. Penny is going to come over and she's bringing all the Pennies (my children) with her!"
The 16 year old groaned and replied, "I can hardly handle one Penny!"

Funny Happenings- Forgiveness

Funny Happenings- Watch For Cars

As we were heading up to church one Sunday, my niece decided to just run up to the front door.
"You have to look out for cars!" I called after her, "You're going to get run over if you don't."
Just then a good friend of ours was pulling into a parking space.
My nephew, who was holding my hand, looked over at her car and responded without worry, "Oh, that's just Mrs. Jenn."

Funny Happenings- Wearing Glasses

My mother recently recounted a story to me about my father.
My father, Robert, worked construction for the Maxwell family when he was a teenager. He liked to hang around with the family, and he was friends with most of it's members. He especially liked the younger daughter, Melody.
Melody was your typical curious child. So, it wasn't odd for her to be interested in the fact that my dad wore glasses. He had these thick glasses to correct his eyesight. Melody noticed that he always wore them.
One day, she climbed into his lap and questioned, "Why do you wear those?"
"They help me to see." my father responded as he took them off and handed them to her to examine.
Melody turned them this way and that and then looked my dad straight. After a moment, she spit right in his face.
He sat there shocked for a bit and then asked, "Why did you do that?!?!"
Melody shrugged and replied, "It worked for Jesus!"

Funny Happenings- What's In Your Heart?

My niece was walking around singing a little ditty, as children usually do. This one was about a husband. I was a little curious because she had never sang a song about a husband before, so I listened closely.
In a little sing-song tune she said, "And what is in my husband's heart?"
As she la-la's for a few moments I started to wonder if Disney had rubbed off on her. What would she say was in his heart? Hopes? Dreams? Courage? Kindness?
Then she started up with the words again, and sang, "There is blood in his heart!"

Funny Happenings- You Stink!

I was walking around my house in a sweater because it was cold outside. I had just gotten out of a nice hot shower, and I was feeling pretty good and clean.
My niece ran up and threw her arms around me and gave me a great big hug, "I love you so much!" Then she stepped back, wrinkled her nose, and added, "You stink!"
I wasn't expecting that. I thought I smelled like my soap and shampoo. So, I walked up to my son and pulled my sweater out and asked him to smell it. "What does this smell like?"
He took a deep whiff, shrugged his shoulders, and responded, "Like Dad!"